August 31, 2009

When I have even the faintest hint of an iota of control over the radio at work, I turn on the alternative radio station. Because I am very pretentious.

It might also be because the Top 40 radio station that likes to advertise the "variety" it offers once played Lady Gaga nine times in an eight hour shift. You get sick of Pokerface after a while.

Today, however, I turned on the radio station to hear Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana. Not a surprise, but a good song to mentally jam to while I smile insipidly at customers. I was surprised, though, when I left six hours later having heard three more Nirvana songs. So, in conclusion: Nirvana, the Lady Gaga of alternative radio. Only, you know... awesome.

Speaking of pop music, I'd like to discuss an anomaly in my life, and it centers around none other than the Jonas Brothers. Oddly enough, over the course of the summer, I've learned the words to at least five Britney Spears songs, but I've managed to escape without knowing a single one of the Jonas Brother's songs. I'm not even impervious to bad pop! In fact, I've been known to like some pretty embarrassing songs. But somehow I can't even think of a melody to associate with the JoBros. So you'd think that since I've avoided the Jonas Brothers' music, I would have also avoided their gossip.


For some reason, I know absolutely. everything. about them. How does this happen? I've had to explain the Bonus Jonas to at least four different people. I've confirmed for people that yes, Kevin "the Ugly One" Jonas is in fact engaged to some girl named Danielle. I know that Nick is the cute, talented one with diabetes who dated Miley Cyrus. And I know the whole saga of Joe's whirlwind love affairs.

[For those of you who don't know, Joe was dating Taylor Swift. However, during the filming of their music video for the song Lovebug, Joe cheated on Taylor with Camilla Belle and then dumped the former in a 27 second phone conversation. Taylor made a really big deal out of it, calling him out for being an ass every chance she got. Recently, though, Camilla broke up with Joe, and a couple weeks ago he started crying onstage. See? See? I didn't have to look up any of that! And I don't even know what the song Lovebug sounds like!]

Really! Where is this information coming from? Am I reading Perez Hilton in my sleep? Does Perez even blog about the Jonas Brothers? It's like Voldemort has hijacked my brain via secret childhood diary and is forcing me into crowds of shrieking girls holding neon posters that say "HEY NICK TAKE OFF YOUR PURITY RING FOR ME."

So basically, my indie cred is in shambles because I am a bonafide Jonas guru.

As a band aid for this gaping wound, I attended a Caspian show the other night (not really as a band aid -- I went because I like their music :-P). They're a post-rock band from Beverley,MA, which is close to my hometown. The show I went to was a record release for their new album Tertia, which I bought at the show and have subsequently drooled ALL over because it's very, very good. The show was also very good, and it was also very loud. So loud, in fact, that my ears are still ringing 38 hours later. So what's the consensus, kids? Should I be worried about the status of my ability to hear at this point?


  1. I've heard of the Bonus Jonas from my fiance's sister, but I never would have guessed the Jonas Bros. would have so much gossip about them! Like you, I have no idea what their songs sound like and I hope to keep it that way!
    Also, my hometown is near Beverly, MA too, so I'm sending you some good North Shore vibes :D

  2. I'm, embarassingly, pop culture illiterate. I mean sure I could recognize Brad Pitt, but ask me to hum a Jonas Bros. song and I'm clueless. I say hold onto your questionalby obtained knowledge and save it for that once in a blue moon final jeopardy!