October 5, 2009
BLOGALICIOUS (WUT), WE ARE NOT PROMISCUOUS.
Now I know I blogged very recently, but I now I'm on a ROLL. I AM A VERITABLE BOWL BRIMMING WITH BEAUTIFUL BLOGGING... NUGGETS. I'm sorry. I just couldn't keep that alliteration going. And this doesn't even work as well as the "Aly & AJ Anomaly" because saying "ALLITERATIVE" even EXPANDED that unit of prosody. Balls. As the Vagabond so astutely pointed out in her comment on my last post, alliteration is something you can fall back on.
Sometimes, blog-type pals, not so happy things happen to you. For example, sometimes you just can't accomplish the alliteration. Sometimes, you are a clementine. Sometimes, your clementine-ey lover cheats on you with a banana. Sometimes you get bits of bamboo shoved under your fingernails like in season 1 of Lost.* Sometimes you just have a no good very rotten bad day.
This past weekend, I got sick. I don't have H1N1 (or, as my friends and I like to refer to it, the "HEENEE." ...get it? lolz?), but I was not feeling too hot. I was especially upset because I had to miss the ultimate frisbee tournament that my team was going to. I was too nauseous to hold my body in an upright position. You know, the usual. Let it suffice to say that I was less than a happy camper.
Instead of complaining, crying, beweeping my outcast state, troubling deaf heaven with my bootless cries -- the usual -- I decided to DODGE TAKE LIFE BY THE HORNS and make something good out of the whole thing. AND SO, I give you Clare's Patented and Guaranteed Awesome Get Well Soon Mood Boosting First Aid Kit of Awesome.
Step 1: While I am under no circumstances in a position to give anyone medical advice, I can say this -- do not shy away from medication. Ibuprofen and Tums are gifts from the heavens above and when used wisely and well, they are your friends forever.
Step 2: Listen to Pink Floyd's album 'Wish You Were Here.' Feel free to substitute said album with Whatever Music You Are Personally Attached To, but listening to Shine On You Crazy Diamond always works for me.
Step 3: Force one of your friends to do something nice for you. Sometimes, people who should constantly dote upon you need to be reminded of this, and letting them know that you are too dizzy to walk to the dining hall could you please get me some toast and coke is the perfect way to accomplish this.
Step 4: Enjoy Toast and Coke.
Step 5: Remember the highest and utmost principle of life as we know it: Star Trek really does make everything better.
Step 6: If all else fails, watch THIS VIDEO or THIS VIDEO or THIS VIDEO. They are cheerful making. David After Dentist is also solid.
Step 7: Lather, rinse, repeat. Under any and all circumstances, avoid sushi and alcohol. You should now feel better. Even if you're not quite like a spritely youth, you should at least be in moderate spirits. Foolproof.
Annnnd now I have nothing interesting left to say. I will now attempt to force my sleep schedule back to normal. Tootle-oo and pip pip!
* I was a pretty big Lost fan back in the day. But I tell you, if you're still watching GIVE IT UP NOW. THEY'RE BRAINWASHING YOU INTO THINKING THAT ALL THOSE RANDOM THINGS MEAN SOMETHING BUT THEY NEVER WILL! They never will...