November 26, 2009


Seeing as how my college is on trimesters (she says, slowly giving you all enough information to stalk her down), I am officially done for the term. I arrived home with a flourish and a bang last night, and now I have nothing to do with myself for six weeks. And I am left mostly alive following finals. Oh dear.

Before I get to the main point of the blog, there is an issue I need to address: REAL LIFE (I know right? I mean, who even HAS one!?). I don't tend to talk about this blog in REAL LIFE, not because I'm ashamed of it, but just because it doesn't really come up. This is more of a place where I get to share the stupid things I think about but never actually bring up in conversation. Despite never mentioning the blog, I take very few steps to hide it. It's not exactly linked on my Facebook, but I have checked it in front of friends before. Never has anyone ever actually spoken of this lonely little address in the corners of the internets aloud.

Until last week.

Wow. That was a little ominous. See what I did there with the separate paragraph thingie-thing-thinger (none of you have ever accused me of being eloquent)? I think it makes it a little more dramatic.

And now we've had all this build up for nothing. NOTHING, I SAY. Basically, my dear friend mentioned my blog in passing while in a large group of people, which inevitably led to a series of reactions:
c) "You guys didn't know she had a blog?"
All of which again inevitably led to one of my particularly charming friends telling everyone what my username was. And while I doubt that any of my REAL LIFE friends care about my innermost inanities (ALLITERATION I TELL YOU), here goes. IF YOU ARE HERE, HELLO. I HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON AGAIN IN THE CONFINES OF REAL LIFE.

And for those of you who do not exist within said reality parameters: HELLO AS WELL.

Seeing as it's 2:39 AM, it's officially Thanksgiving! This means several things. One is that in far too few hours, my mom will wake me up to stare at inflatable Spongebob floating around in New York. I watch it mostly for Arthur, because, let's face it, Arthur is great. Just great. I also have hopes for the likes of Clay Aiken or someone similarly amazing as a performer. Furthermore, I will bake an apple pie and attempt lattice crust for the first time (I am a pie n00b). And then I will eat lots of cheese and everything but the turkey -- being a vegetarian on Thanksgiving is a little weird.

But I guess what it really means is that I'm supposed to be thankful? And since it's the THING on the INTERNETS to make lists, and especially since I seem to love numbering and/or lettering itemized paragraphs, here is a list of things I am thankful for that will go on until I run out of ideas.


1. Serious stuff: Family, friends, health, prosperity, education, running water, music, art, literature, etc. But we avoid the deep stuff here... for now (why do I insist on being ominous today?).

2. My dog. Now, this should probably not be separate from my family and friends, which are uncerimoniously lumped under "serious," but my dog is sitting next to me right now, which puts him at the forefront of my mind. My dog is the shit. He is adorable. He is cuddly. He loves me. We chill. Don't even worry about it.

3. Shakespeare. Now, I know I made a weirdly serious post about a Shakespeare sonnet a couple times ago, but really, Shakespeare means a buttload to me. I've been completely obsessed with Shakespeare since I was nine, and I've just come off of a term in which I got to take a whole class dedicated to his Bardiness, so I'm feeling a little sentimental. I give you a speech from the Tempest:
PROSPERO: Be cheerful, sir.
Our revels now are ended. These our actors
(As I foretold you) were all spirits, and
Are melted into air, into thin air,
And like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd tow'rs, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve,
And like this insubstantial pageant faded
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.
CLARE. *slaps self* I'm sorry. I got a little misty eyed over that one... BACK TO BUSINESS. (But really, please appreciate that speech)

4. The Oxford English Dictionary. In understand how nerdy this is. As evidenced by the last post, I am an English major, and the OED has frequently been the object of my fangirling. Anecdote detailing why the OED is awesome: The other day I read something in which someone used the sentence "he dressed succinctly." My brain said, "THAT'S PREPOSTEROUS. This is just misuse of a thesaurus, as the word succinct usually refers to conciseness of content rather than speed of action," but the OED, in its infinite wisdom, said, "NAY, Clare. You were unaware of an old and rarely used meaning of 'succinct' in which it makes it known that an object is something relating to a girdle!" Who knew!? The OED knew. And while has this tucked away at the end of a definition with the word "ARCHAIC" emblazoned at the top, the OED listed this definition first. And so, because of the OED, the thesaurus mistake suddenly became incredibly proper English. It seems that an extremely manly man dressed in a girdle. I take this as truth.

5. Indian Food.

6. Unicorns.

7. Mustaches.

8. Mustachioed Unicorns.

9. People Piles. Since even before I saw Where the Wild Things are I have loved sitting in piles. In the new year (no matter how far away it is at this point) I will resolve to spend more time in piles.

10. Bananagrams. It's this really fun game that's kind of like really fast, free-form Scrabble.

11. Scrabble.

12. Scrabble on Facebook. A good way to keep in touch with people without actually talking to them.

13. Scrabble on my cell phone. A good way to kick the easy level computer's ass.

14. Sci-fi. Sci-fi makes me really happy. From the William Shatner ('nuff said) I get from Star Trek's Original Series to the vertiable crowd of beautiful man-meat we get from Star Trek 2009. From my TV list for this break, which includes Heroes, Dollhouse, Battlestar Galactica, Babylon 5, and Buffy, to Ray Bradbury short stories. It's the most science I can tolerate in concentrated forms, and it's freaking awesome.

15. Tae-bo.

16. People's Sexiest Men Alive Issue... and their inclusion of my three biggest man priorities. Even though they all had really small pictures. This is a time for counting blessings, not complaining about the fact that Johnny Depp had a bigger picture than Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

17. Cellular Telephones. Which are extremely useful tools. Take it from someone who dropped their phone in a glass of root beer and had to live many weeks without one. They are super useful.

18. Buzz Lightyear. a) I'm pumped for Toy Story 3. b) Tim Allen. c) Buzz Lightyear is just the shit, okay? I have centered my life around Buzz Lightyear. d) TO INFINITY AND BEYOND.

19. My beds. When I went to college, a really huge priority for me was to make my bed a nice place to sleep. It's great, and while I'm psyched to be in my nice double bed at home cuddling with my dog, I am also thankful for my college bed. And, as a subcategory, my pillow, which makes every bed I sleep in a little more homey.

20. WIKIPEDIA. There. I said it. Making anyone into experts since whenever it was founded. Also, this song about dating Wikipedia.

21. My favorite TV shows.

And that seems like a good place to leave it, mostly because I'm falling asleep right now. Plus, 21 is a nice round number. AND YOU GUYS, I'M ALSO THANKFUL FOR YOU. LET'S HAVE A HEARTFELT MOMENT.

[Re: comments. LOUD BRASS = <3 And I need to get more of the HP soundtracks.]

k bye.


  1. I am also thankful for Indian food. I will definitely be visiting my favourite Indian food restaurant while I'm home along with Panda Express. Priority number 1.

    Have a good Thanksgiving!!

  2. I love your list. And I agree with you Buzz Lightyear is the man. :]]