Gather round, dear nonexistent bloglings! Today is an important day. Today, somebody real and tangible in the wibbly wobbley internetey thing may actually read my blog.
That's right! Hayley Hoover herself may or may not peruse these dusty halls. What fun! I've never had someone REAL to write to before! This is simply intoxicating.
Well, Hayley, I'll not waste any more of your time.
1. What author do you own the most books by?
Oh dear, you want me to stand up? Well, ok. Looks like the results are coming in with a whopping 19 books by William Shakespeare himself. Tied in second: 10 from both J.K. Rowling and Tamora Pierce.
2. What book do you own the most copies of?
I think I have three copies of Romeo and Juliet, but other than that I don't believe I have any doubles.
3. Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?
Not particularly. Sometimes it's nice to break mildly superfluous grammar rules. To boldly split infinitives like no man has split before.
4. What fictional character are you secretly in love with?
Just pick up a Sarah Dessen book. Nine times out of ten, you've got one (special mentions go to Dexter, Wes, and Owen). Also, Hamlet.
5. What book have you read the most times in your life (excluding picture books read to children; i.e., Goodnight Moon does not count)?
That probably has to go to Ella Enchanted, which I still read when I'm overly stressed. Senior year when I was applying to colleges I read it 8 times in one week.
6. What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?
Weirdly enough, Romeo and Juliet. Then I started understanding it.
7. What is the worst book you've read in the past year?
I, for some reason, completely despised Atonement. Other than that, though, I can't think of anything.
8. What is the best book you've read in the past year?
I would say Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but that was a reread so I'm not sure it counts. Probably the Stories of John Cheever or Oh, What a Paradise It Seems (also by John Cheever). And Franny and Zooey.
9. If you could force everyone you tagged to read one book, what would it be?
Hamlet. And I do force people to read it. They don't know what hits them!
10. What book would you most like to see made into a movie?
I'm going to say Ella Enchanted, because I don't currently acknowledge the existence of the one that was made a couple years back. Great cast. Interesting interpretation of the plot (aka where the hell did they get that chain of events from, because it sure wasn't in the book).
11. What book would you least like to see made into a movie?
I would just rather not see any books made into movies.
12. Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.
13. What is the most lowbrow book you've read as an adult?
I guess I've read a lot of children's books and young adult fiction since I was an adult, but I don't necessarily want to call them "lowbrow." Other than that, I can't think of anything.
14. What is the most difficult book you've ever read?
I'm battling my way through some Henry James right now, and it's giving me a run for my money. Other than that, though, I'd say Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett or A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce. Both amazing, but boy did they take a lot out of me.
15. What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you've seen?
Is Measure for Measure obscure? What about Titus Andronicus. Oh, hell, I don't even understand the question. I have a hard time believing that any Shakespeare can really be called obscure.
16. Do you prefer the French or the Russians?
I can't say I've read much of the Russians, which is something that needs to be remedied, so I'm going to have to say the French. Also, because Candide is the funniest piece of literature ever written.
17. Roth or Updike?
John Updike is the Chuck Norris of the literary world, so naturally him.
18. David Sedaris or Dave Eggers?
I've never read Eggers, but I'm a HUGE Sedaris fan.
19. Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?
I've been breathing Shakespeare since I was eight. I am NUTS about Shakespeare. I really, really have to say Shakespeare. That said, I am only mildly less obsessed with Chaucer and Milton, though both the Canterbury Tales (which my English class read in the original Middle English) and Paradise Lost literally took pieces out of me. Hard books are more gratifying, anyway.
20. Austen or Eliot?
Eh... bu- um. Oh God, I just love Eliot too much.
21. What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?
Sylvia Plath knows what's up (see right). There will always be huge gaps in my reading, and I'll NEVER be able to come to grips with the fact that I can't read everything. That said, it's a little embarrassing that I haven't read everything by Shakespeare. People always look surprised when I say that.
22. What is your favorite novel?
Life of Pi by Yann Martel. That book changed my point of view of religion forever.
Do I need to answer this question? Hamlet. Hamlet is my favorite thing ever penned by anyone. The best times of my life are when someone brings up something I've never thought about before, and then they mess it up for me. I love it when people mess up my perception of Hamlet!
YOU CAN'T MAKE ME PICK ONE. Poetry is my favorite. *wibble* Um. One Art by Elizabeth Bishop. That one about beach rubble by Sappho. Phone Booth by Brenda Hillman. Canonization by John Donne. "The moon was but a chin of gold..." by Emily Dickinson. The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock by TS Eliot. Sonnets 23 and 29 by Shakespeare. So, so many.
I haven't read too many, and I don't remember any that I've read.
26. Work of nonfiction?
This Boy's Life by Tobias Wolff.
27. Who is your favorite writer?
I have to say Shakespeare! But I read other things. My other favorite is John Cheever.
28. Who is the most overrated writer alive today?
Hey Hayley! You're the only one who will every potentially read this, so I can shout it to the mountaintops and be drama free. STEPHENIE MEYERRRR!
29. What is your desert island book?
Have you seen that episode of the Twilight Zone where this quiet man just wants to read and do nothing else, and then an atomic bomb goes off while he's in a bank vault and he can finally read without anyone judging him. Minus the unbelievably heartwrenching ending, that would be pretty sweet. So what I'm saying is, "Why can't I just bring a library." This is the only situation in which I could see a Kindle coming in handy.
30. And... what are you reading right now?
the Short Stories of F Scott Fitzgerald and The Wings of the Dove by Henry James.
Well. I quite enjoyed that. Writing something and anticipating that someone would read it. Maybe I'll spare my imaginary readers my rant about political parties, healthcare, and Woodstock (which of these things is not like the other?) for good behavior or because I'm in a good mood or something.